N0 CRAPPERS FOR CRIPPLES.

Yes, I know we should not mock the afflicted, but there are times when it is nigh on impossible to resist temptation, especially when one has come within an inch of being mown down by some self righteous prick on a mobility scooter bowling down the pavement at a speed more suited to Silverstone. Now you may well think that I hold a certain animus against the more disadvantaged of my fellow citizens, and if you do then you would be bang on the bacon, I am, there is nothing more irritating than they who grizzle and moan over the iniquities of life and expect, ney demand, that others not suffering any physical imposition should be discommoded in order to underline their martyrdom. I am referring specifically to the disabled, which is not the done thing to do, but frankly my dears I do not give a damn.

All this is part and parcel of the modern doctrine of what you want you can have and to dispute this irrationality is to invite the punishment of being tarred, feathered and run out of town. The physically disabled are sacrosanct and must not be criticised, but someone must at some stage point out to these people that if you are a cripple there are certain things in life beyond your reach, amongst them, climbing the north face of the Eiger, running the London marathon while your prosthetic is at the pawn brokers, and indulging in the more athletic poses of the karma Sutra, and the sooner disabled folk accept these proscriptions on life the happier they will be, although I suspect that having a good moan is one of the chief joys of their existence.

The most recent rumpus concerns the inadequate provision of lavatories on the trains. Two people popped up on the television to regale the viewers with tales of how due to lack of lavatorial facilities on the train they were reduced to wetting themselves and are now demanding legislation. Naturally, after all we can not deny a physically impaired person lavatorial facilities, that would be against their human rights. But I ask you, what about your ordinary passenger? Forced to sit next to some cripple pissing himself with gay abandon, surely they are entitled to a bit of legislation, how about a law that all cripples must be registered and forbidden to venture out in public without incontinence pads.

However such is the lunacy of the Western World that such legislation is virtually guaranteed, but why stop at cripples I ask you? There’s that LGBTXYZ mob, then there is the blind. We’ll end up with so many specialised lavatories on the trains there will be no room for the passengers, who if taken short will have to drop their drawers and take a dump on the side of the road, after which the Transport Police will arrest then for indecent exposure.