A SWIFT PAT ON THE ARSE.

All ages have their individual peculiarities, and the principal peculiarity of the age in which we dwell is that it is impossible to be a man in the traditional sense of the word, try and be a man as ones male predecessors understood the term and you are on the way to trouble if not incarceration, or at the very least a million dollar law suit as has happened to a hitherto unknown by the name of David Mueller, who found himself in court for goosing Taylor Swift.

Now most men will try it on with a member of the opposite sex, but a smack in the chops is usually sufficient to cool their ardour, although if they get frisky with another man they are regarded as admirably progressive and transgender champions, nolo contendere as they say in legal circles. The nub of the storey is that boy Dave gave Taylor a pat on the arse, to which the lady took great exception, why she should do so is beyond comprehension as if you dress as a tart and act as one, then your average bloke will get the right understanding of your moral boundaries and make a play for a piece of the action, or a chunk of arse if you insist on being common, which I rather suspect a lot of you are.

Let us now take a close look at miss Swift, or at least her track record in these matters, by the way the lady is a singer, well that is how she describes herself although in my book, standing on a stage while squawking and flashing your fanny at the audience does not qualify on for the lead role in Tosca, Callas the dame ain’t. If Taylor has any talent at all it is in the art of self promotion, in that field she leads the pack, specialising in the art of hooking a prominent male. There are no shortage of male celebs willing to partner the lady in this particular tango, where intern for a feel and a fuck they get their names in the papers and the chance to boast to their mates that they have ended up in the ranks of the A list of heterosexual athletes and are not as bent as corkscrews.

These activities are timed to co-inside with the next highlight of her career, a tactic which never fails, except for the victim who invariably fades from notice as soon as he is dumped. All this can not continue indefinitely, hence the current hoo ha. Rumour has it that our heroin has another magnum opus on the launch pad thus the need for a fresh publicity angle, this is where Mr. Mueller comes in. The fellow is being sued for millions, naturally, this is America after all. Considering the political climate the outcome was foretold, a swift victory for Taylor, who magnanimously accepted damages of one dollar, along side millions in free publicity, but it does not end there, oh no.

Taylor is going to donate to charities aiding abused women, no mention of which charities or how much, and I suspect those donations will fade into obscurity to await the next campaign for attention. What about David Meuller? He is already on the cutting room floor, forgotten, financially wiped out by the lawyers fees and without a job, be that as a warning to any other blokes who are tempted by the allures of Derriere Doris, it ain’t worth it boys. And if any of thee are offended by what I have writ, then serve you right for reading it in the first place.