NON ILLEGITIMUS CARBORUNDUM

You can forget that for a start, and if you can understand the title then your are too posh for this page and should bugger off to Selfridges and buy some sushi for your tea. Our dearly beloved rulers of choice, God forgive us our sin of voting for them in the first place, have outlawed the hunting of the fox, but have, perversely declared open season on the Middle Classes. Watch it Acacia Avenue, Harriet is after your blood. She needs it to prove to the lower orders that she is not posh, or, at least that she has stopped being posh after a life spent at the silver trough, which is ceasely replenished at the expense of the long suffering taxpayer.

Miss Harman, or ‘Arman as we should now say (The aspirate is far too elitist to be used, innit?) has declared war on the middle class, they must be prevented at all costs from realising their potential and rising in the professions. The lower orders must be given the top jobs, irrespective of whether or not they are competent to undertake them. Ability is no longer to count for anything, if you want to be a doctor, you will need to prove that you can fart and pick your nose while eating a plate of blanc mange, and if you can spell medicine then you are definitely out of the running.

All this will play well in the salons of Islington, whose denizens are never happy unless they have something to feel guilty about, but what will be the effect of this mass cull of ability? The professions will be stuffed with people who cannot spell or do sums but could not be bothered to take the dishes out of the sink before pissing in it. This will be the new definition of class, take it from me, if you are too posh to enjoy a good crap and tell the neighbours all about it, you will not make the grade in ‘Arriet’s utopia.

What Our rulers do not realise is that the Middle Class is the engine which powers the nation, they obey the rules, do not complain and pay the tax, which provides the cash for ‘arriet and her pals to tip down the pan as soon as they get their incompetent paws on it. Come the election this government will get it’s comeuppance, that lot in the middle of society are ready to take their revenge. I can’t wait.

The Middle Class are ever resourceful, they will not take this threat to the future of their offspring lying down. Instead of shelling out on private tuition in academic subjects for their children, they will be trawling the sink estates of the nation hiring yobs to teach their children to be as common as udders in a cow shed, and ‘Arriet and her pals will still be out on their ears come the next election.