DAVID CAMERON’S ORATION.

Friends Britons and Conservatives,
lend me tour ears:
I come to shit on Boris, not praise him.
The cock-ups men make live after them, the expense fiddles blown on their tarts.

So let it be with Boris. The ignoble Milliband hath told you Boris is a wanker.
If 'twere so, he was telling the truth for the first time,
for Boris is a dicky whacker, and he will go blind..
Here, under Milliband and the rest, for Milliband is an ignoble sod, so are they all, and this is not Balls.

Come I not to speak in Boris’ Praise, he was never my friend, he was always unfaithful and unjust to me.
But Milliband says Boris is faithful, this from a man who stabbed his own brother in the back.
Boris brought many to the Olympics to bask in his glory, but they were too busy watching the tele to fill the traders coffers.
Does this in Boris sound competent?

When the poor have cried, Boris has snuck off for a slash, is this unconcern or just incompetence.
Yet Milliband hath said Boris is ambitious, and sure, he is not an honourable man.
I speak not to approve Milliband spoke, but I am here to speak on what I do not know, I am but a politician.

You all did love Boris once, why not? You are but plebs.
What cause enjoins you to cheer him?

O judgement thou art fled to pedestrian breasts.
And men have lost their marbles. Bear with me, in my heart I know Boris is false fleeting and perjured,

and I must pause until the cunt falls under a bus..