A LOAD OF OLD COCK.

Stranger things happen at sea, but not many are stranger than this I wager. A man was recently reported to have entered Southampton General hospital with his genitals stuck in a pipe, no, you have not misread me, the bleeding perve had got his dick up the spout. It was not reported how the offending member arrived at it’s eventual resting place, pity, that would have made a queer tale well worth the hearing. I suppose we will never know the reason why all this came about, but while it is a known fact that pipes frequently come fitted with a stop cock, to be stuffed with a Hampshire todger seems a tad unreasonable to me.

What did the hospital officials do? Why, what anyone would do in such circumstances, they called the fire brigade, of course they are not called that in these politically correct times, but why split hairs in the face of so monumental a cock up. Anyway, seven members of the brigade turned up at Hampshire General to minister to this joker wandering around A&E with his dick in a pipe, was he holding it up? No-one said, but it was reported that the appendage in question had become aroused, making it impossible to be removed. At this point in the proceedings I should imagine the poor fellow was in need of a stiff drink. But seven firemen to manhandle the situation? Was this guy really the yardstick against which all others are measured?

After the administering of an anaesthetic The Brigade got to work with a grinder, a wholly appropriate tool all things considered. It took thirty minutes to free Willy, but it was in a bruised and swollen state. Ah, bless. The man’s identity was not disclosed, hardly surprising as by this time I should imagine he was feeling a complete prick as opposed to acting as if he was cock of the walk.

The moral of this tale? There isn’t one apart from the old adage ‘Don’t let your dingle dangle in a pipe’, even if you possess the biggest hot dog in Hampshire.