ALL COCK AND ISLAM.

Now I have heard it all, there is that old saying,”Stranger things have happened at sea” but it seems even stranger goings on are being launched in Cairo. On the banks of the Nile, strange things are stirring, and while the dead have not come back to life they are certainly being screwed some thing rotten, you couldn’t make it up, and if you did, people would think you to be one sick bastard. That is enough faffing around, let’s get down on the heart of the issue. The good Mullah’s of Cairo have decreed that a man may have sex with his wife for up to six hours after her death. There, I have said it, but, this needs a little deeper analysis. Is this diktat valid for only one toss of the caber? Or is it a license for six hours of the non stop screwing of the dear departed? One presumes this sanctioning of necrophilia applies only to the land of King Tut, but who knows? The way things travel these days the practice could be over here in weeks, then no stiff would be safe, the authorities would not put a stop to any of this in case objecting to a Muslim screwing a corpse could be construed as racist, and one would not want that? Would one? Certainly not, carry on copulating Abdul, just don’t do it with someone who is breathing. All this may have some positive side effects, if they can go down on their dead wives maybe they would stop kidnapping white teenage girls for a bit of how’s your father. Imagine the scenes in places such as Bradford, that citadel of multiculturism, as the grieving spouses queue up at the undertakers, and the Tannoy belts out a contemporary version of that sixties Engelbert Humperdink classic, in this case it would be “I’ll have the last bonk with you” or the Stones one that goes “I can’t get no satisfaction” Not that complaining to a corpse about her performance would achieve much. Brings tears to your eyes it does. Naturally Hollywood could not pass up the chance to get in on the act, Steven Spielberg would make a blockbuster movie called Raiders of the Dead Cunt, oh, the possibilities are endless. But what if you are away from home when the missus pops her clogs, could you get a stay of execution while you are belting back home for that last encounter of the third kind? I suppose you would have to stuff the old bint in a cool place. There you are, home at last, the kids bawling their eyes out “Mam’s in the freezer dad” Do you thaw her out a bit? Or just get stuck in and risk getting frostbite of the dick, try explaining how you got that down at A&E. By the way we must not forget our bent friends, no stonewalling on this now folks, open minds and all that, they are just as entitled to a bang in the morgue as those straight perverts. I can see an entirely new cottage industry opening up in Soho, where there are plenty of homeless, who could vouch for the fact that there is no bum like a dead bum.